here and there

i feel so scattered.

there are so many things that i want to do. with my kids. with my house. with my life. and i just don't seem to get anything done besides making it through the day. i have so many interests and things that i could (and do) get excited about. but i just don't have the mental diligence to stick to one thing.

i start. then i stop. to start something else. and then it's back to the first thing. which may get finished. or may not.

i drive myself crazy. i wonder what it does to other people? people who are close enough or involved enough to be affected by it. i'm sure it drives them crazy, too. i get this from my dad. what a genetic gift to get!

i want to make cloth diapers. i have all the supplies, just lack the motivation. oh, i've made one, but apparently that was enough to satisfy my curiosity. and wouldn't it be fun to make candles? good, clean, beeswax candles that don't poison the air? i would love to do that. but, i realize that by the time i buy all the stuff, i won't be able to make more than one. what is wrong with me?

how about cooking. my sister and i talk about writing a blog and eventually a cookbook about meal planning for families. i look for a book like this every time i visit the library, but to no avail. so, we're going to write one. yeah, right. when?

today in my bath i was looking through a knitting book. i can knit. another one of those hobbies that i start and stop. but today i was inspired to start making some hats for my kids! cute hats, the kind i can never find in stores. or, if i do, they are too expensive to justify. (seth doesn't understand my obsession with accessorizing.)

oh, woe is me.

so i just sit here thinking and dreaming about all of the wonderful things i could do if only i had the motivation. or maybe less kids (next week i'll have six during the days).

or maybe, both.

my sweet emmy at the beach, chewing on rocks - he takes after his sister in that!

A on the table drinking my soda. this is her "pretty" smile!